Being Gay Isn’t A Statement

First Published 7-1-09

“We’re just like you!”

I would like to draw to light a certain phenomenon that has been growing in strength over the past few years: the deification of homosexuals. Let me make this clear from the get go: I DO NOT hate homosexuals. I’m not a homophobe, I am not opposed to same sex marriage, I have gay friends. What pisses me off is that people seem to think that just because a person is gay (or lesbian or whateverthefuck else), it automatically makes them:

A) A superstar,
B) Going to Hell,
C) The most super awesome sweetest fashion designer ever,
D) Sensible in all walks of life

Being gay makes you one thing and one thing only: gay. Of course, I don’t mean that in a derogatory way, again, I have nothing against gay people. A stereotype, no matter how positive or negative in this regard, makes you look like a fucking shit eater instead of just a shit pusher. Having said that I have gay friends, I can tell you from truthful experience that some of them are really nice, some of them are holier-than-thou pricks. Some are really well dressed, some are really flamboyant. Some are normal people, some are fucking freaks. And you know what? That makes them just like everybody else. Gays really are just like everybody else. They suck just as much as everybody else does. They are as pompous as everybody else is. They lie as much as everybody else does. They obsess over stupid shit just like everybody else does. And yes, sometimes, they are nice enough to tolerate, just like everybody else is.

Examine that recent meme going around the internet, the difference between a gay guy and a faggot. Gay guys don’t feel the need to interject their sexuality into every aspect of their life. They are just like everyone else, they dress and act just like everyone else. The only difference between them and everyone else is they like to get their colons perforated. Fags however, are the people you see at the Pride Parade every year in fuzzy rainbow short-shorts passing out condoms to teenagers. They are the people who have to end every conversation with “because I’m gay,” and the people who call everyone “girl.” At the bar, the fag orders an appletini and loudly proclaims that he is allowed to because he is gay. What he doesn’t realize however is that


You’ve never heard of a “Straight Pride Parade,” but just imagine what one would be like. Hundreds of people in jeans and t-shirts holding up signs that say “I love pussy,” not passing out Astroglide to kids. No one wears too much makeup, no one is walking around in nothing but a diaper sucking on a pacifier shaped like a dick. It would look just like any downtown morning commute. There would be nothing special about it, though that wouldn’t stop some people from leaping up and decrying it as a massive homophobic movement, which it wouldn’t be. You know why there is no such thing as a straight pride parade? Because there’s nothing amazing and special about being straight. So why would there be something amazing and special about being gay? Who you choose to fuck is your business, kindly keep it to yourself and stop rubbing your sexual preference in everyone’s face.

I’m so sick of middle suburbia taking things they don’t know anything about and making a cult around them. Parasites and freaks like that God-awful Perez Hilton (Who got punched in the face by a black guy weeks after ruining Miss California’s career because she believes in same-sex marriage) and Jeffree Star, the pink Marilyn Manson, are a hallmark of the wanna-be hip and the searching-for-a-useless-cause. These people support the aforementioned it seems, only because they are gay. If Perez Hilton was just some guy instead of a mean spirited self-righteous queer, no one would give a flying fuck over what he thinks about anything. So why does making him gay make him so important? And don’t even get me started on Jeffree Star, his entire fan base are straight freshmen high schoolers who pretend to be “sexually experimenting” so guys will pay attention to them, they tend to have at least one unnatural color in their hair and maybe go to a rave or two on the weekends when daddy is too busy being passed out drunk on the floor to notice she left the house in lingerie she bought from Target.

I’ve heard people say they hate gays because they don’t want “some fag” hitting on them. Why do you think just because they are gay, they will automatically shove the nearest dick into their mouths? Straight people don’t attempt to copulate with whoever is in arm’s reach just because they are the right gender, what makes you think being gay will change that? I once participated in a high school class debate about gays, and one of the questions posed was “is it wrong for a gay couple to adopt and raise a child?” When one person said it was, because they would press their sexuality onto the child, a girl, not much different from the ones I just detailed jumped up furiously. She claimed that a gay couple raising a child would want to encourage the child to find their own desires in life. To both of these people: What makes you think that gays are preprogrammed to act in any specific way? What makes you think that just because they are gay, they have to act a certain way? News flash: ALL parents press their beliefs on their children, it’s called raising them, you tools. Furthermore, why the hell did super-bitch think that just because they were gay, they were going to be the most understanding people ever to grace the earth? Under what fucking pretext did you draw these conclusions? No information was given on the gay couple or their lifestyles, so where did you pull that character judgment out of? You had no pretext to make that assessment besides the fact that the couple was gay. Why would a gay couple be anything greater or poorer then a straight couple? It depends on the people involved, on a case by case basis, just like it would with straight people. Some straight parents insist their child be like them, some straight parents let their child choose their own path, and not a god damned thing about what they may be affects that, and the exact same goes for gays. You can’t lump all straights into one category, what makes gays so special that you think you can do it to them? It’s a form of bigotry, and any who practice it deserves to be dragged behind a car just as much as any other bigot does. I’m not promoting gay tolerance or lack thereof, I’m promoting the fact that being gay does not make you special. Being alive most likely makes you an asshole however and your sexual orientation will have little to no bearing on that. As all people in the world are varied on beliefs of things ranging from favorite foods to religion to music to politics and everything in between, you need to realize that being gay makes you no less susceptible to having your own fucking opinion.

It is possible to be accepting but still narrow-minded. Making a gay individual special based solely off of the fact that they are gay is an arrogant form of sexism and is no more right than making someone special based off of their race. Less qualified black people shouldn’t get jobs over more qualified whites, just like boisterous homosexuals shouldn’t get any more attention than loud-mouthed straights. Enough with this separation between gay and straight, learn to think apart from the Hollywood drawl. Gays are people too. They deserve to be treated and hated and expected to put up with bullshit just like straight people do.