Erik The Red

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If Predators Wanted To Give Themselves Autism, Why Don’t They Just Get Vaccinated?

Posted on September 16, 2018 22:17 by ErikTheRed

Double-posted at lonestarbois.blog

Whew lad, I just saw “The Predator” and I’ve got some thoughts. We’ll do the good news first, so let me start by listing the things about the Predator franchise that I like. Other than the cool monster design and the classic 80s action tropes, one of the appeals about Predator is, in a sense, that it is a power fantasy. The men and women who have squared off against the Predators in the past have all been stone-cold killers, apex hunters, the most dangerous people on the planet. Watching them struggle against a superior foe and emerge victorious is both rewarding and engaging. Continue reading → Post ID 1040

📂This entry was posted in Autism General Movies Violence
Road Rage Dallas: Stories Of Love And “Is This Loss?”

Posted on July 6, 2018 20:35 by ErikTheRed

To my regular readers, if there are any of you left: one of the reasons I’ve been so absent in my writing lately is that I’ve focused most of my anger toward trolling the shit out of the people in The Dick Show Facebook Group, and there isn’t much ire left over to also bang out articles about things that piss me off after I’ve already unloaded elsewhere. Speaking of which, say hi to your mother for me. Continue reading → Post ID 1040

📂This entry was posted in General Manliness Pop Culture True Stories
My Spring Break Was Better Than Yours

Posted on March 7, 2017 14:19 by ErikTheRed

This year, I treated myself to a tropical vacation. I’ve never been to the Bahamas, but everything I’ve heard about it was positive, so I just had to check it out on my own. I spent 2 days and 3 nights on a Carnival cruise and visited both Freeport and Nassau.

Continue reading → Post ID 1040

📂This entry was posted in True Stories
Fan Mail Update, Jan 2017

Posted on January 30, 2017 18:00 by ErikTheRed

Though I don’t receive as much fan mail as some of the more prolific writers out there, I still get my fair share of love letters from the public. Some of them are funny, some of them are insightful, and others, dare I say, heartwarming. I’ll never forget the email I received from a hysterical mother who told me that her son had my website open when he shot himself in the head at his computer desk. It really warms the heart to know that I’m appreciated.

Continue reading → Post ID 1040

📂This entry was posted in General
Settling The Great Christmas Debate Once And For All

Posted on December 19, 2016 17:45 by ErikTheRed
The Christmas season is full of many symbols, rituals, and traditions. Hot cocoa, baked ham, children singing carols, and Christmas movie marathons on TV. Whether you observe the holiday or not, everyone knows what the holiday season has in store for the public. For me, the one big thing I can always count on is having this particular debate:

Is Die Hard a Christmas Movie?

Continue reading → Post ID 1040
📂This entry was posted in General Movies Pop Culture
What We Can Learn From Boko Harem’s Kidnappings And Our Response To It

Posted on April 14, 2016 20:54 by ErikTheRed

Today marks the two year anniversary of the infamous Boko Harem kidnappings of over 200 girls in Nigeria. Their ages were primarily 9-14. If you don’t remember, that’s ok. Nobody else seems to remember either. Here is a quick refresher. Continue reading → Post ID 1040

📂This entry was posted in Feminism General Politics
A Deadpool Review From A Man Who Has Actually Seen Deadpool

Posted on February 12, 2016 01:36 by ErikTheRed

A lot of people had a lot for expectations for Deadpool. From its initial announcement all the way through its impressive marketing campaign, every bit of PR had been so perfectly handled that any doubts a prospective moviegoer would have had were dispelled long before the lines started queuing on Thursday night. After all, any movie whose advertising strategy is talking shit to small children will automatically get my money, even if it is a documentary on the world’s eighth-most famous cobbler. Continue reading → Post ID 1040

📂This entry was posted in General Manliness Movies Violence
24 Ways To Burn Off The Holiday Weight

Posted on December 15, 2015 11:22 by ErikTheRed

The end of the year can be a difficult time for our bodies. Starting with Halloween, we slog through a parade of one decadent holiday treat after another. These cultural norms may make it difficult for anybody with an existing health goal to stay on track, and can further complicate things for people who are motivated to turn over a new leaf for the new year. Sticking to a regular diet plan and exercise routine sounds like the least fun thing to do in the season of hot cocoa, mint candies, and ham, so to help everybody stay on track I’ve provided a quick and easy way to meet your weight goals in 2016. They worked for me, and I’m certain they’ll work for you!

Continue reading → Post ID 1040

📂This entry was posted in Food Medicine
27 Ways To Be Beta Male

Posted on October 20, 2015 12:29 by ErikTheRed

“Traditional” masculinity has long been under attack from a variety of angles. Often the people crying about its existence are of course the people who accumulate the least of it. Fat women hate traditional masculinity because any guy with self respect will give her wide girth a wide berth. Neckbeards and beta males are equally as threatened by it because they aren’t capable of competing with it in any meaningful capacity. Too put it simply, real men are too good for these second-rate losers. Any man worth his salt has had to deal with slights against his masculinity both subtle and overt. Most of us, being real men, shrug it off as the groveling of lesser people.

Continue reading → Post ID 1040

📂This entry was posted in Feminism General Manliness
How The Saga of Kim Davis Makes Us All Look Like Assholes

Posted on September 13, 2015 13:18 by ErikTheRed

Let me start by being perfectly clear: Kim Davis is an idiot, and I wholly support same-sex marriage. As a matter of fact, I myself am married to a man. His name is Jim Beam; he treats me like a king and I would never cheat on him.

That being said, I want to take some time to address and more deeply examine the would-be scandal surrounding Kim Davis, and how it reflects our current culture.

Continue reading → Post ID 1040

📂This entry was posted in Politics
The Never-Ending List Of Bands That Suck, Pt. 5

Posted on August 14, 2015 12:02 by ErikTheRed

Time to bring back an old favorite! For the newer readers, the premise is simple: make fun of bands, rappers, and other musicians that suck. To catch up on whose been grilled before this, check out Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, and Part 4.

Continue reading → Post ID 1040

📂This entry was posted in General Music Pop Culture Things That Suck
A Tribute To People Named George

Posted on June 24, 2015 13:33 by ErikTheRed

In history there are many constants. Genghis Khan never loses, women always ruin everything, and mass shooters are always on anti-depressants. One fascinating recurrence of history is the capability of people named George to be so good at kicking ass. If you leaf through any western history book, you will see a few Johns, some Michaels, and the occasional William who have forever carved their names into our heritage, but these instances pale in comparison to the number of Georges.

Continue reading → Post ID 1040

📂This entry was posted in General Manliness Politics
The Best Spaghetti I Ever Ate

Posted on May 28, 2015 14:16 by ErikTheRed

The other day, I was out walking my dog when I came across a “Coming Soon“ banner for a new Italian restaurant in my area. By the way, my dog is a rescue. I rescued her from me killing her last week for pissing on my rug by deciding not to kill her. That makes me a sensitive man. Anyway, Italian food kicks ass, so after seeing this new Italian place I had to go home and make some spaghetti. Spaghetti is on my top ten list of foods, its right in between anger and tits as one of my favorite sources of nourishment.

Continue reading → Post ID 1040

📂This entry was posted in Food General
3 Reasons Why The Batman Vs. Superman Trailer Sucked Ass

Posted on April 19, 2015 13:23 by ErikTheRed

Earlier this week, the internet collectively lost its shit over a leaked trailer for the new Batman Vs Superman: Dawn of Justice movie. Warner Brothers, in the spirit of “fuck it,” decided to release the official trailer early in light of the leak. Article after clickbait article popped up immediately after the leak praising the “edgy” and “atmostpheric” trailer as one of the greatest cockteases ever put to film. Each and every single one of those articles is wrong.

Continue reading → Post ID 1040

📂This entry was posted in General Movies Pop Culture
The Proliferation of Bad Euphamisms

Posted on April 7, 2015 14:08 by ErikTheRed

I’m going to kick this off by assuming you already know what a euphemism is. If you do not, it is not my responsibility to educate you. Kindly see yourself to the door and exit the gene pool.

Continue reading → Post ID 1040

📂This entry was posted in General Pop Culture
With Bristlr, We Have Officially Taken It Too Far

Posted on February 25, 2015 12:52 by ErikTheRed

A few months ago, in the bowels of Gear Junkie a website no one had hitherto given a fuck about, the term “Lumbersexual” was coined. A Lumbersexual is a big city boy, usually a hipster, who dresses up in flannel and denim and grows long, full, and sometimes unkempt beards and mustaches. He obsesses over coffee and microbrew beer, buys outdoorsing gear from Target but is too much of a pussy to actually go out in the wilderness, and ironically embraces his role in the counter-culture-that-has-become-pop-culture circle.

Continue reading → Post ID 1040

📂This entry was posted in General Manliness Pop Culture Things That Suck
The Next Thing Tumblr Feminists Will Protest. *Possible Trigger Warnings*

Posted on February 4, 2015 13:31 by ErikTheRed

I don’t know about you, but I hate men. Gloria Steinem was right about everything, and Goddess bless her and her mission to spread Feminism to the savage Patriarchal culture that makes up America. Thanks to the Social Justice hub that is Tumblr, wimyn all over the world can join forces to fight the daily misogyny that so many people exert over each other. With the recent New York subway protests of “Manspreading” and the righteous Wimyn’s Rights battle that is #gamergate, the Feminist movement has become emboldened. This is just the start, as the whitest of White Knights, I suggest we lead the charge into the lion’s den and grab the Patriarchy by the stones. These are the next things that responsible Feminists should band together to slactivize against!

Continue reading → Post ID 1040

📂This entry was posted in Feminism General Pop Culture
Stunning Football Hypocrisy

Posted on December 19, 2014 13:21 by ErikTheRed

Anyone familiar enough with me or anyone who has read my older work already knows what I think about football. In case this is your first time reading my shit though, Ill recap: fuck football and every knuckle-dragging dipshit who pays more than cursory attention to it.

Continue reading → Post ID 1040

📂This entry was posted in General Pop Culture Things That Suck
The Black Friday We Deserve

Posted on November 29, 2014 02:43 by ErikTheRed

Don’t worry, I’m not gonna lecture about depravity of Black Friday. I’m not gonna wag my finger at you and make some straw-man reference to starving children in Africa. I’m not gonna remind you that if you are thousands of dollars in debt, you don’t need a new tablet. I wont use Black Friday to paint America in a bad light, especially considering its also a tradition in England, Brazil, India, Sweden, and elsewhere, nor will I be decrying the “evils” of capitalism or even poking fun at the fact that people die while Christmas shopping in an attempt to be edgy.

Continue reading → Post ID 1040

📂This entry was posted in General
Tactical Everything? Go Tactically Fuck Yourself

Posted on November 10, 2014 17:22 by ErikTheRed

Every trend reaches a point where it is so inundated with wanna-be’s, jackasses, sycophants, and just plain-old bad ideas, that the stupid factor reaches critical mass and ruins that trend for good. It happened to First Person Shooters, it happened to Zombies, to metal music, to social media, to mustaches, to fucking hot sauce and to bacon. Today, we’ll be talking about none of those. Today I want to address the urban Rambo phenomenon, and how fucking stupid you make gun owners look.

Continue reading → Post ID 1040

📂This entry was posted in General Manliness Things That Suck Violence